Afternoon Delight?

So bloody persistant I figured if I finally just hung out with him he'd stop annoying me. He got us tickets to a musical and confirmed the time and date with me several times. All was fine until he made a comment about how much I'd enjoy his beard. (I don't know you!!! So your beard better not come close to any part of me.)

This morning, after 4 hours of sleep, I got up early, worked out, walked the dog, got dolled up for our matinee musical and drove for half an hour to find a parking spot near the Stanley theatre. 

With each moment wasted trying to find a Parking spot rage boiled within me. The beard comment pissed me off last night and I woke up hating this man. But I thought I should be nice and give him the benefit of the doubt. 

Then I realized there was no bearded man outside the theatre waiting for me. I text his cell and he was still in bed sleeping.

...This is my real life.

Having a deaf dog is hilarious!

Having a deaf dog is hilarious! I walk over his sleeping body when I come home. Turn on the TV. And then stare closely at my dog's stomach for signs of breathing. After all,

he is 11, half blind, totally deaf, missing 7 teeth and stiff with arthritis. It's not totally insane for me to assume that my Lil dog is dead every time I come home. As I'm peering at my mutt, I lose my balance and ever so gently tap the old boy as I catch myself. He of course, fell fast asleep at the front door when I left the house and has no idea that I'm home, and he definitely isn't expecting me to be lurking just inches from his face. 

You can imagine how startled he was when he opened his eyes. 

How do you explain to a deaf dog that I only scared the shit out of him cause I care. 

Is she a tranny?

Rumors flew when a comment on http://youtu.be/GARvqq5fOdk got viewers very excited at the speculation that I'm a tranny. 

In an email today a "fan" pointed out that I don't show my vagina in my adult videos and I worked for QueerFM and am currently on A Gay Collab and re-broadcasting on Gay Life TV, therefore I MUST be a tranny! 

The little Internet sleuth was so proud of his or her deduction. I just let them believe whatever makes them happy.

And if I can pass as a tranny then that just blew my viewership wide open! 

Sadly though, if they do their research they'll find two of my so called adult videos that disprove their theory. 

But we won't tell them that ;)

I'd hate for my vagina to be a disappointment! 

I met one of your fans at the supermarket

"You manage the penthouse right?"

"Yes" my boss replied, as he tried to remember who this guy was.

"Hey you have a dj named Samantha Mack"

"Ya"

"Did you know she does porn?" Said the unknown man.

"We're standing in a line up at the grocery store and you're telling me that my sister does porn?"

The excited mans face quickly sunk with embarrassment.

My boss let him sweat for a moment then continued,

"Na I'm just messing with you!"

As my boss from the strip club where I DJ re-told this story the other staff members and I burst out laughing. With a cigar in his hand and razor sharp wit at his disposal he is a modern day Marx brother. 

Addicted2Samantha.com

I Hit A Man In His 60's

I hit a man tonight who must have been in his 60's

Fucking men... Where does this misplaced sense of entitlement come from?

I saw the dancer pointing at the camera and backing away during a lap dance so I poked my head in to make sure she was ok.
"Don't grab the dancer" I said, then he grabbed me.
Shocked, I slapped his hand and told him not to. But He continued. I kept swatting his hands away as he questioned who I was to be telling him what to do.
Granted I don't wear a staff shirt of name tag. I usually wear a low cut top and lulus. So perhaps I can assume he thought I was just a customer busting up his dance. So I told him I worked there and It was my job to watch him on camera.
Then he grabbed me and a series of mean statements poured out of his mouth.
I kick guys out for being disrespectful, without flinching.
I told him to leave and he grabbed my wrist. Instinctively I hit his face as hard as I could from such an awkward angle. It didn't stop him though. I need to learn to hit harder.

Thank god for bouncers.
All I had to say was, "This guy needs to go!"

Then I walked away and when I looked back he was gone. As we're the bouncers. ;)


If you can't be a gentleman
You don't deserve to be in a gentlemen's club.