I was slightly pissed off. As if a few inches of my skin was so damn special to you! Really, did I ruin my body by marking it. Am I no good now? Have I lost value as your friend because a tiny part of my exterior changed?
She went on to describe the full mural tattoos that she likes. A full back or sleeve that is one congruent piece of art. Yes I like that too but no one picture will be important enough to me to bother getting just ONE tattoo.
I have a friend who I think is the most beautiful woman at the strip club she has a geisha and a snake tattooed on her arm. It covers her arm from wrist to the tip of her shoulder. It's so beautiful because is just looks like vibrant colours and designs until you step back to see the full picture. Every time I see her I want my arm tattooed too. The way the orange and purple dance on her arm simply mesmerises me every time.
However, a geisha and a snake? maybe it means something to her but to me it's not enough. I wouldn't put it on my body.
That's when I accidentally said, "my tattoos are like stamps, and my body is my passport"
I stopped, I had shocked myself. Damn I'm smart.
I had said my tattoos are like stamps because each one in black and thick like a stamp you'd get at a night club. (except the colour tattoo on my back) Each one marks a huge part of my life. I just noticed that my tattoos were like stamps when I got my last one, it wasn't planned. It just happened to be what I was instinctively drawn to.
I've spent weeks thinking of what to get for a sleeve tattoo and how to fill in the rest of my back. I have a hard drive full of sample images of stuff that is awesome... and in collecting all these images that go together I realised that I need to do my tattoos one at a time... piece by piece. Each tattoo marks a part of my life and they will all come together as a work of art when I am done.
And that's the kicker right there. WHEN I AM DONE.
I'm not done living yet!
I don't know what the full picture is going to look like, because, quite frankly, I don't know where I'm going or where my life is headed. But like a passport keeps track of your journeys... so will my tattoos.
In 2010 I got my straight edge X's on my wrist. I wanted them for a long time but knowing how much my Dad hated tattoos I held off. But finally I couldn't wait any longer. It took me until that point to realise that although my Dad doesn't like tattoos. He's not stupid and wont actually hate me if I get one. Ya he'll huff n puff but he'll still love me to pieces regardless what colour my skin is. So off to the tattoo shop!!!
Being an adult entertainer I had a bad rep to start with. I wanted a way to defend myself. My true self.
I had never touched drugs. (still haven't) I didn't drink and never smoked. I liked the idea that I was always responsible for my actions. I couldn't ever make an excuse for my behaviour by blaming drugs or alcohol.
If I entered a wet t shirt competition, stole your truck and/or fucked your mom. It's cause I wanted to. After 25 years of rockin sober living I figured I was too old to start picking up "bad habits." So i tattooed it on my body. I was damn proud of it too.
In 2011, I was working at the Human Rights Conference and there was a photo booth set up for iamequal.org. Where people took pics with the "i am =" sticker and then shared their own personal stories of fighting for equality. Some people fought for gay rights, women's rights, immigration etc. But in the end. We are all human and we are all equal and it's about human rights. I love love love this idea. The idea that I am no greater or less than anyone else. So often people get on their high horse and step on others because they feel entitled. I just refuse to live that way.
I am equal.
The postman, the doctor and the stripper are all equal. The woman, the gay man and the Jewish neighbour are all equal. Our race, sexual orientation, religion, career or colour of our eyes shouldn't define our value. We are all people on this planet and no one deserves to be mistreated for another person's gain. So within days of having my photo taken for the "i am =" project I was getting it tattooed. 5 of us have it tattooed on our forearms so far. I hope other people get it tattooed as well if they feel the same.
In 2012 I finally had my family's last name tattooed. That's another one I've been thinking of forever. I just didn't know how to do it. When I was asked to host the West Coast Tattoo and Culture Show I was surrounded by tattoo positive people. So I just went for it. I booked it a day in advance and just simply had my family's last name tattooed in the only logical place I could think of... my head. My family's last name is "HEAD" so writing that anywhere else on my body would be just plain foolish! I love that my head says head. It's hilarious. Much like my straight edge tattoo "XXX" the "HEAD" tattoo make people think of porn and blow jobs. Then when we talk about it and I reveal their real meaning people are a little shocked. I like to throw in a comment about how people jump to conclusions and are so filthy minded. It's a back handed way of saying "I'm a good girl, who's proud of her family, and now you look like a perverted ass"
Most recently I got a skull tattooed on my wrist. My bros Matt and Mikey (the Granger Bros) have had matching skull tattoos for years. These two boys who I call my brothers, stumbled into my life and became my best friends over night. I can't even begin to think of two more solid people. It's rare that men stick around in my life without guile. These guys are like family. After just a few days we were blown away by how we felt like we knew each other our whole lives. They brought friendship to a whole new level. I can't even get into the power of our relationship without describing the gory details. But the coolest thing we did was take "Crazy Dracula" from a script they wrote and turned it into a hilarious short film. (Crazy Dracula Spring Break Weekend, http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5c5511c404/crazy-dracula-spring-break-weekend) It was incredible. They called me their producer on that film but really, I just took care of my bros as best I could, simply because they were my bros and this project was important to them - therefor it was important to me. With or without the title I would have bent over backward for them to see this project through to the end. They were like family. And just like my real family I was convinced that we were capable of anything.
I was out with Matt for lunch and as we gushed about how much our friendship meant and how this last year would have been chaos with out each other... somehow we started talking about tattoos. He said, you should get this and pointed to his skull. I didn't take a moment to wonder if he was serious. I took a pic of it and was getting it tattooed within the hour.
I was watching "The Real Housewives of Vancouver" really examining the rich, glamorous women. They seem like cookie cutter images of each other. It reminded me of Stepford Wives. I don't want to be one of those women. I already am a fake doll to a certain degree. But I don't want to fear doing what I want, (aka getting tattoos) because it's not considered the proper image of a good successful lady. If these housewives are considered what is "proper" then consider me a rebel, a black sheep ...a miscreant, if you will. Because I do not want to be a dolled up drone hanging off some rich dude's arm just to prove my worth. I'd rather be a high society reject with my tattoos and piercings, too busy living life and having fun to worry about fitting into a certain mold to prove my worth.
So I was sketching out ideas for a full work of art tattoo tonight, when all of a sudden. I stopped and remembered what I had said. "my tattoos are like stamps, and my body is my passport"
I know what's next for my back tattoo. It's the only colour piece I'm doing. It'll be done by the end of this year. So I'll tell you about it later. My sleeve, however, will take years. It will be filled with the stamps just like a passport. Each one will mean a tremendous amount to me. And together they will tell the story of my life. Go ahead and disapprove. I'll be too busy living life and having fun to notice.
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