Boys, Grow a Pair

 One of my biggest turn offs:
Boys who have to brag about their car, boat, house, watch, etc to prove they're special.

Dear Boys,
Grow a personality and stop hiding behind "stuff" to prove that you have value. I don't care about stuff. You are not your "things." It's just useless junk. Grow a personality, be charming, witty, smart.
For gawds sake you are more valuable than the crap you bought. Your "things" don't make you cool. You and you alone are most likely a fantastic human. Grow a pair and stand up for YOU, not your possessions.
sincerely
Samantha

Tonight's story starts with just another day at the office... aka another night at the strip club.

Tonight in the bar a handome man tried to chat me up.
His opening sentance was about how hot his car is. He then tried to get me to go outside to see it.

I instantly laughed and decided to bust this poor boys balls for my own amusment.
I know it's a little mean, But I couldn't help myself. I mocked him,
"I have no personality or redeming quialities that would make girls like me but I have a pretty car. oh boy, that'll make you like me"

He took my razzing like a champ... or he didn't get it.
"Here I'll show you a picture" he said. "George Knows, He's seen it."

about 10 mins of banter went by. My point each time being "your STUFF wont impress me. Be a man, come out from behind your toys and talk to me like a real boy Pinocchio" I even tried to help the poor fool out. So what do you do? Do you like your job? What did you really want to be when you grew up? etc. All I could drag out of him is that his job made so much money he's getting a new toy.

I asked him his name. Let's call him BoBo.
"Listen BoBO, Introducing your self by bragging about crap you paid way too much for, your penthouse suite, your car, your boat, your glittery shirt, etc. Makes you lame. Grow a personality. Make a girl smile. Try anything other than bragging about your stuff. You're far too young for a midlife crisis. Fuck the car. It's often said men with fancy cars are over compensating for 'something' anyways."

He then went on about how he liked to work out. AND I KID YOU NOT. He flexed his bicep and begged me to touch it. I held onto the bar to keep from falling over laughing. But, the damn fool persisted through my over dramatic laughter.
"No, feel it. It's hard I promise."
So I gave in and gave his buldging bicep a squeeze as I rolled my eyes.

he continued,
"OMG I love you let me take you out. I've got lots of money"

"It's unfortunate that your so handsome, your blatent stupidity has gone unnoticed for what? 30-35 years.... Let me guess you have a line of credit. That's not 'having lots of money' that's having lots of potential debt"

"ya but it still works." he said. (that's the funniest come back he had all night, still makes me laugh)

"why would you want to take me out. I've shot down everything you have to say. I've made fun of you and treated you like my verbal punching bag. I think you're mind numbing, you're actually numbing my mind, and I want to JUMP off the roof each time your open your mouth."

"ya but you have great tits. we'd look good together."

"I'll be on the roof"