Tuesday 31 January 2012

No Condom

While I'm being so honest:

Im Incredibly turned off when a dude doesn't want to use a condom. Seriously? You should be willing to crawl on your hands and knees through broken glass into the gates of hell for an opportunity to dip your sin stick in the glorious paradise that is my pussy. A tiny piece of latex is going to hold you back?! I shudder at the thought of your dick being so weak. 

I get that it's not as good. Blah blah blah. Trust me when the dick to condom ratio is off you're not the only one who feels like you're fucking a garbage bag BUT good pussy is earned. Pay your dues.

Gay Blow Job

This txt message conversation took place after going to Oasis on Davie St for JUNK Thursdays (male stripper night)


Holy Fuck!
     Huh? Why are you Holy Fucking?
Oh My!!!!
     U just gonna keep me hanging?
A gay dude demonstrated a blow job on a bottle between the strippers legs... Gay men know how to suck cock like it's an art
     Haha
I felt like I should have taken notes
I've never watched soneone give head and make it look enjoyable
     Hah hah You're hilarious
The porn I watch is ususally a dude grabbing a fist full of hair and slamming the chicks head down on his cock till her eyes water from gagging on it
But this dude had moves!!! Holy Fuck a gay dude truned me on.
Does this mean I'm gay now??? haha
     Your mouth might be gay.
This dude made sucking cock look better than winning the lottrey...
Wow!!!
My mind just exploded
I can't wait to try out his moves! HOLY FUCK!!!
     hahaha U kill me.
Every man around me is gay!!! This is hell! Not a useful dick in sight! I should have been more specific when I asked God to surround me with beautiful men.
     hahaha
     awwww. poor baby. That's what happens when U hang our in GAY BARS!
The next man I get my hands on will have gay Randy to thank
...before he dies of dehydration
     Lol
Fuck dude. I'm so shocked that a fake blow job was so damn sexy.

Thursday 26 January 2012

The Exotic Circus

OK so it's been a week since the first Exotic Circus show of 2012. Carmen, Aaron, Israel, CBlaze and I took to the stage for 5 shows in 4 days. It was an incredible experience. Aaron and Israel were brand new additions to our crew and I'm so thankful to have them on our team.
Our show started with a crowd pumping song by moi followed directly by the acrobatic and silk routine by Isreal who wore a leather harness and a deep blue latex speedo. While Isreal was flying 4meters above the audience Aaron, wearing white pants and body paint all over his impressive body, pops up from under the stage with his break dancing moves before dazzling the masses with his hoop routine and closing with the Cyr Wheel. The stage goes dark while performers do a quick scene change and Carmen dressed in glitter and bling, entertains the audience rendering them still with her gravity defying stunts on the pole and straps. As the crowd picks their jaws up off the floor they bursts into thunderous applause BUT WAIT we're not finished yet. CBlaze dressed head to toe in tight black spandez with matching make up, comes on stage with his flaming wands and fire poi. Then after playing ring master during the show I enter CBlaze's fire show and officially colse the performance by breathing fire in a slinky black dress.





Friday 20 January 2012

Danny and the Deep Blue Sea

Danny and the Deep Blue Sea is Playing in Vanovuer till Feb 4th GO SEE IT

This play tore me in two. As much as I loved it, it made me so uncomfortable. The theatre was so intimate I felt inappropriate laughing out loud, but I just couldn't help myself. It was shockingly funny. Especially because the character of Danny was played by my oh so talented friend Aleks Paunovic. http://www.alekspaunovic.com/ so seeing my buddy say some of these shocking hilarious lines amplified the funny.
The choking and spanking and such that goes on during this play was incredibly hot. Maybe my filthy mind got away on me... but It was hard to sit still.

This play is easy for anyone to relate to because it exposes the,  'at wits end' kind of crazy, dramatic, emotion that we've all either been on the giving or recieving end of. As gritty and icky as it is... we can all relate to the crazy.

The character of Danny was a big dude who fought. His co workers nic named him "the beast"
For me this struck home because I've dated my fair share of tough guys, former boxers, and manly men, who when tired, drunk, or.... get agitated and need to fight.
There's still an unsightly patch covering a hole on my wall that I haven't yet painted over from one of those frustrated moments.

I could understand how the female lead could love this messed up boy. I've kissed those bruised hands, I've told a man with black eyes he was beautiful. But to see it all over again from a third person's point of view was shocking.

I understood why and how the female character, "Roberta" was genuinely sweet to a broken man. (I'm ignoring the fact that she was bat shit crazy.)  As a over nuturing chick myslef there's an uncontrolable draw to "fixer uppers" (as I like to call them.) Those men who have so much going on in their heads at once, they need to someone to hold their hand and bring them to a place of calm so they can sort their thoughts out. I remember the intimate times laying on the roof of my truck staring at the start as a conversation turns to tears. I was overwhelmed with the real, the raw, the honest babbling of a broken man as he pours out his most personal thoughts as he digs his way out of an emotional ditch. Bringing a mentaly exhausted man to a moment of clarity is like winning the ultimate prize for girls like me.
Girls like me are givers.
We like to be the hero.
We need to be needed.
Being there for others is as important to me as oxygen. Maybe it's not girls like me as much as it is the wanna-be-mommy in me coming out.
...or maybe after being in the spotlight for so long its rare that people let down their guard with me.

             and for that moment in time I feel real.

But that's me going off on my shit

This play is funny and serious
Gritty and light
Honest and heart pounding
I loved it and hated it

It left me shaken and amazed
I was torn in two

GO SEE IT

I want to see this play again from the other side of the theater to see if it changes my experience. It would be interesting to explore a relation with Alek's character, Danny. Maybe the next time I see this play I can understand why and how he thinks and feels and behaves the way he does. Perhaps my mind locked in on what I know. What's easiest for me to relate to. Maybe I can't relate to a character who I feel I don't connect with in my real life... but what if I could. What would that experience teach me about myself?
DANNY AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA
By John Patrick Shanley.  Directed by Jason Goode.  A Pacific Theatre presentation of an Annunciation Pictures production.  On stage at the Pacific Theatre through February 4, 2012.  Visit http://pacifictheatre.org/season/2011-2012/mainstage/danny-and-the-deep-blue-sea for tickets and information.

Wednesday 11 January 2012

The OFFICIAL Taboo Sex Show Launch Party

Taboo: Naughty But Nice Show
Kick-Off Night After-Party
Featuring DJ PANDEMONIUM alongside Special guests

HOSTED BY THE SAMANTHA MACK
 

...
The official Naughty but Nice kick-off party takes place opening night - Thursday, January 19th 10pm at the Post Modern Dance Bar located at 7 Alexander Street in Gastown. Enjoy classic drinks and music from some of Vancouver`s finest DJs.

The Taboo Naughty but Nice Show provides an upscale adult playground with an illustrious main stage show. An entire weekend of entertainment, educational seminars and unique shopping in an environment full of visual perception. Everything from your hearts desires to inconceivable delights.

Early Bird Tickets available at http://www.ticketzone.com/1116453-Naughty-But-Nice-Launch-Party-tickets/Naughty-But-Nice-Launch-Party-Vancouver-Post-Modern-Dance-Bar-January-19-2012.html


Thursday, January 19th, 10pm-3am
Post Modern Dance Bar - 7 Alexander Street, Vancouver
No cover with RSVP by 4pm: postmodern@donnellygroup.ca

Twitter: #PostModernDanceBar @DonnellyClubs

SE Bikes

SE Bikes, one of the most respected (some say "legendary") bicycle manufactures, has brought out its new line of bikes, bike frames, parts and accessories. The new line is the "raddest, baddest, lightest SE bikes to date."  The company has been around since the start of the BMX racing scene, so they probably know what they're talking about.
I, on the other hand know nothing about BMX bikes. What I do know is the dudes who ride them are 9x out of 10... HOTTER THAN HELL!!! I am what you call a poser. And this is a pic of me posing. Before this photo shoot I hadn't touched a bike in too many years to count! But if you know me and my love of shamless self promotion, you know I'll touch just about anything if there's a camera, video or tweeter near by. Next time we shoot I think SE Bikes should have a real live BMX dude in the room to ;)  "supervise"  the shoot.
There's something about those kind of guys. maybe it's the shaggy hair that sticks out from their hat, or their perma 5 o'clock shadow, or maybe it's just knowing their partially bonkers for their death defying style of riding. .. Yeah, that's probably it. Knowing a dude will push himself to the edge and try anything is such a crazy turn on. I love a lil crazy in my men.
Moral of the story. If you ride a SE Bike, don't be alarmed if I stare. No, there's nothing in your teeth, or on your face... not yet anyways!


SE Bikes
http://www.sebikes.com/
www.Twitter.com/sebikes
Photo By: Three Sixty Photography

Sexy and I Know It

Last night I sang at the Junction
Why?
To raise money for local charities like we do every Tuesday at the Rhinestone Stiletto Show. The show starts at  11:30pm kinda. We like to call it drag standard time. So 11:30 means 11:45 at best! Tonight I sang "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO. and Yes, my animal print pants were in fact out of control! DJ Cho Cha peeked over the edge of the DJ booth to take video of my show with her cell phone. Mistress T was also there with my video camera catching all the action.
Yup, that's right I travel with my own paperazzi!!!
I wonder if my parents ever expected this 20 some odd years ago??




"whatever you do, give it all you got!"
-my mom


I'll be adding this song to the show I'm doing next week at the Taboo Sex Show in Vancouver.

Tuesday 10 January 2012

28 and Naked

I'm always asking myself, "am I too old for this?"
I was in LA recently and had the opportunity to shoot with VenerablePhotography.com one of my favorite photographers. Robert has a great studio set up just outside of LA with colorful sets, outfits and props. ANY girl can walk in and leave feeling beautiful! I jumped on the chance to shoot with him. I already can't wait to go back for more. December 19th 2011 I learned that you are never too old or too young to sit in a tub of bubbles!!! Thanks Robert at Venerable Photography for making me feel beautiful!!!

January 09 2011 Photo Shoot

Photo Provided by:
Justin Lam
Owner/Operations Manager
THREE SIXTY PHOTOGRAPHY - We Capture Life
Photography | Videography | Photobooth Rentals
Anytime, Any place, in any style YOU choose; for every event in your life big or small - we capture them all.
http://www.threesixtyphoto.com/
604.726.8815
Twitter:  @ThreeSixtyPhoto
"Life is a one time shot.  Don't mess it up!"

Friday 6 January 2012

Loving Yoga! Am I Alone?

I wish I had of given yoga a chance long long ago.
I've never sweat so much, never had my muscles tremble to failure, never had my body respond like this to what seems like a simple workout. Yoga is my new addiction
In just the few classes I've taken My body has started to mold into a stronger, sexier version of me. I wake up each morning feeling the muscles in my core stretch and pull from the previous days class. It is unlike any other workout I've ever tried. I feel beautiful, confident, powerful, capable and thankful.

http://oneyogaforthepeople.ca/ is an incredible studio. The instructors are incredible. I highly suggest their classes.

Photo of Chris Duggan, my favourite instructor


I've tried things I had never dared before. I have a new found trust for my own control over my body. I used to be the biggest yoga hater. But I've grown to LOVE it. Each class is only as hard as I want it to be. Chris is the perfect instructor for my personality. He lets my girlfriend and I make funny comments under our breath. He plays amazing music and I vibe so well with his personality. I've had other instructors but I don't really bother making an effort to go back to their classes.

Sometimes Yoga is FUNNY!
Here's a pic from today's class where there was a battle
Giant Tits VS flexibility
"Don't do it!" said the girl next to me. "You have too much to live for!"


Thanks to the move called the "plow" I discovered why everyone thinks motor boating is so damn awesome!!! I've also decided that I should start bringing a snorkel to class.

***Getting Real***
On a personal note. I started going to yoga classes with my girlfriend the day after I had to put my dog down. My dog was my best bud, by my side everywhere I went. The Tattoo shop, snowboarding, even strip clubs in Alberta. He was almost 10 years old. I held him as he died. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It broke my heart and I could hardly hold myself together. After grabbing a quick bite with my girlfriend she dragged me to her yoga class. I didn't want to go cause I didn't want to be quiet and face where my thoughts would go in the stillness. But I got talked into it.
Chris was the instructor that day. Thanks to my almost 12 years in ballet my first class ever was quite successful. Chris made me feel like a natural. I was lovin it... until the end. when the lights went dim and we just layed there focusing on our breathing. The memory of watching my dog take his last breath kept playing over and over in my head like a silent film. For a moment I stopped breathing to try to make it go away. Tears filled my eyes as I layed on my back. Class way dismissed and the lights stayed low. My girlfriend asked me if I was OK. I started to nod but didn't dare speak. But then I shook my head and my sad eyes turned to waterfalls.
I thought I would hate yoga after that. But, I didn't. If you can't cry in front of a bunch of hippies who can you cry in front of, right?!?

In my world that is oh so public, it was nice to be in a room of strangers who weren't looking at me. I was safe. Safe to push myself, safe to try and fail and try again, safe to cry, laugh, and safe to twist into strange positions without judgement or fear. I didn't worry about my make up. I didn't worry what my body looked like. I didn't worry about anything. This was the escapism I craved.

I don't do alone well. That's why I lived with a big dog for so many years. No matter where I was or what was going on in my life I was never really alone.
It's been two months since Mr.Muffin Head died. I've been as busy as possible with shows/gigs and work. I had to make an effort to go back to yoga. Today I realised that Yoga being such a personal journey, it's a LOT like being alone, only with a whole bunch of other people who are alone too. The stillness is still uncomfortable. But I can face the stillness, cause yoga is a journey that is different for everyone. Some work on balance, some work on their bodies, some on rehabilitation.
I'm working on being alone.
And in this class, this safe place, we all stand alone - together.
Mr Fluffy Muffin Head
March 31 2002 - Dec 20 2011

FUCK CANCER

In response to people NOT wanting to use FUCK CANCER merch at our cancer fundraiser (exotic dancers for cancer, held at a strip club) because they don't want to be associated with the word FUCK;

"This is about cancer, not being too good to say the word fuck! God knows we've all done it! Let's take back the word and put it to good use.
Allow the language to benefit you! Don't fear what others may think, we're strippers and adult entertainers for fucks sake! Since when to we care what people think?!? We are the black sheep, the rebels... that's why our events are so popular! we didn't get anywhere being good little girls worrying about our reputations now did we?!?

The kind of man you crave...

I remember doing a cosmo quiz and it asked what kind of man you crave.

a) a man who will bring you flowers, take you out for a romantic candle lit dinner, and fuss over every detail
b) a man who makes you feel like one of the guys, hot dogs, beer, and a football game is your perfect date
c) a man who will get up on the table risk embarrassment, and sing your favorite song just to see you smile
d) a man who looks like he just walked off the set of world's sexiest men calendar shoot with a body carved from stone that makes all your friends jealous.

I circled and highlighted "C"
I tore that question out of the magazine and taped it to my high school locker year after year.
Still waiting for my song...