Pantless Morning on Davie Street

Here's a funny story:

I walked my dog to get coffee this morning, as I usually do. I tied him up to the lightpost, as I usually do, when I went in to get my coffee... As I usually do.
My coffee was particularly delicious this morning. I was thankful I paid the extra for the Venti. I really needed the caffine boost.
Upon realeasing my dog from the lightpost he somehow wriggled away while I was trying to re attach his leash to this collar. I reached out to grab him and the chase was on.
He ran across Davie Street and down Thurlow. Cars swerving and honking. I chased after him, yelling at an on comming gay couple to grab him.
I finally got my hands on the geriatric mutt. However I can't really scold him. Yell as I might, he's totally deaf, and he doesn't listen. ;)
I picked him up and held him with one hand to my hip like a laundry hamper. Now he doesn't like to be picked up. His little legs ran mid air as he panicked.
I was wearing my ex's baggy old lululemon pants that are, "fashionably sloppy." My little dog's paw quickly kicked my baggy pants off my ass. the fell round my ankles.
Luckily I have no shame, but I do have priorities. I dropped my coffee and tossed my dog over my shoulder and held him with one hand like a baby while my other hand pulled my pants up.
I walked back across Davie Street to the Starbucks where his leash was still attached to the lamp post.
A lady sitting outside had witnessed the chaos and offered some helpful advice, as strangers often do.
"you shouldn't let your dog run into traffic!" she said.

Not wanting to continue speaking to this person I responded in a calm clear tone of voice, "I'm sorry, I don't speak English."

Then she repeated herself, only this time she spoke MUCH MUCH LOUDER!!!

As I walked away with my dog secured to his leash... I looked at my fluffy, adorable, mennace on four legs, and thought "Why I didn't drop you and keep the Coffee."