OMG I met a Rockstar!

When I worked for the church I didn't listen to secular music. Then, in what seemed like just over night, I became a stripper.
But I didn't know any music. It had been 6 years since I cut all non Christian music out of my life.
I would pay the dj to play me something that matched my outfit and it was always Manson or rob zombie.
It was an interesting experience picking what music I wanted to enjoy after being shut off from the outside world.
After buying a Juno awards cd with various artists, I made the conscious decision to specifically seek out Canadian music. I wanted to support people who lived in my world.
And it wasn't long before the only CDs in my jeep were Hedley and Marianas Trench.
As I grew into who I am now, their songs became the soundtrack to my life. Every word laden with meaning and memories. Lyrics that dare say what I couldn't.
I ended up meeting members from each band casually. At a local bar, at a friends house... And I was speechless!
I know from having my own fans that it can be a tiny but weird when someone feels like they know you and you don't know a thing about them. They're just so excited to be your presence and ...you still don't know a thing about them.
I was Terrified to come across as a screaming fan waving a sign in the front row. I couldn't say hi.
But I am so overwhelmed with joy when seeing the people who write and sing the songs that were the soundtrack to my life. I just want to thank them for the gift Of their music. And how impacting it was on my life. At the same time I want to say "you did good" cause I know the shit you have to feel for some of those lyrics to come from your mind.
I want to blurt out how I recite their lyrics to my friends when they need a message of support and encouragement.
Meeting them confirms that a real person shares my thoughts and feelings. Upon seeing them I feel like my best friend who gave me every pep talk I ever needed just walked through the door.
I am filled with excitement, joy and so much gratitude. It is such a Great feeling, followed by pure horror, when I can't manage to say anything. I talk to my friends around them and don't dare make eye contact cause that will be the key that unlocks my uncensored mouth.

I'm slightly older and wiser these days and I still go to their concerts. But I hide in the back with the rest of the people my age (except I'm not chaperoning a bunch of screaming pre teen girls)
I watch the sea of people fall in love with every word and my heart goes out to each kid singing along at the top of their lungs. I get it.
As the show goes on I catch myself watching the audience and their response. I took at picture of the last concert and sent it to my best friend. It was a photo mostly of the crowd. I captioned it with "how can I manifest This destiny"
What an amazing opportunity it is to affect so many people at once. How incredible to be able to lift up and encourage people with a few words yelled into a microphone. What an amazing gift.
These bands, these guys, these normal people are living my greatest dream. And I feel like a fool when I am frozen in amazement.
I wish I could just say hi.