One day is all we have

Live one day at a time. Cause that is all we have. 

I got x-rays today, my chest, neck and head. They said I should have the results back by Friday. 

They gave me a puffer to help me breathe but i don't notice any difference. 

 

So now all I do is wait...

My girlfriend called and randomly we started talking about taking her house guest to whistler. So tomorrow before work were heading to the mountain... For no real reason, except that She wants to show off the view to her house guest and I have a jeep - So it just made sense for us to all go together. Ill never understand why people drive 2 hours just to see a view. But all I could think of is, "why not?"

What else was I going to do with my day of waiting? Sit in my house and watch daytime television?

A random trip to whistler and meeting new people is WAY better than letting my mind wander at home for 24 hours.

Funny how it just lined up perfectly. 

Everything is exactly how it should be. 

If you have an opportunity take it. Why?

Why not? Life is for living. Not sitting on the couch. Enjoy today, cause today is all we have.

You're testing my blood for WHAT?!?!

RING RING

"This is a message for Samantha Mack. We need you to come in and talk about you blood test results ASAP!"

I was in Seattle with Josh Rimer for the weekend for Vlogger Fair. I lived out one of my biggest dreams when I was on stage encouraging and supporting and motivating people to be Bold and fearless  as they Vlog their stories. It was a dream come true to be welcome for my thoughts and not just for my boobs. Anyhow....

As soon as I was back in Canada I made an appointment to talk about my blood test results. 

I've been tolerably sick since April 9th. I lost my voice and have trouble breathing. I easily get fevers and I'm drained of energy much more easily than ever before. I figured I was getting old and working up to 20 hours some days. I thought I was just run down.

Turns out I'm running low on white blood cells. At 5pm yesterday the dr set me up with appointments to see I I have leukemia.

At 6pm I had to drive out to walnut Grove for head shots with one of my favorite actors. By the way if you need head shots, photographer Jonny Ray is my secret weapon.

We headed back to my place to update the acting agency with the pertinent info and sign contracts. I was lost in the tiny details for hours and hours.

Then we were finished.... it hit me. As we were getting ready to pack up and leave I thought, "what the hell do I do now? Just wait till morning and somehow not worry about possibly having leukemia?!?! WTF!"

Late into the night without my saying a word, the actor I had been working with randomly piped up with inspirational thoughts and logical peaceful ways to deal with worry and stress. Somehow he knew exactly what to say at exactly the right times. 

I finally fell asleep feeling such peace and love, totally ok with whatever the universe had next for me.

Such an incredible feeling! 

And what made it even better was the fact that a dude was being so sweet to me without guile. If you've read my other blogs about dudes talking to me late into the night, it usually ends with me hating them for being horny and disrespectful. 

This morning I was up and at the hospital at 9am for more blood work and tomorrow morning ill be back for x-rays. I also have the option of getting cancer gene testing at the cancer clinic. So I guess we'll just see what happens next.

One of the things we talked about late last night was living in the now. And now is perfect. I be a fool to ruin a perfect moment by worrying about something I have no control over. 

"Everything is exactly how it should be"

Pic of me getting ready this past weekend for Vlogger Fair's TRON party. 

Afternoon Delight?

So bloody persistant I figured if I finally just hung out with him he'd stop annoying me. He got us tickets to a musical and confirmed the time and date with me several times. All was fine until he made a comment about how much I'd enjoy his beard. (I don't know you!!! So your beard better not come close to any part of me.)

This morning, after 4 hours of sleep, I got up early, worked out, walked the dog, got dolled up for our matinee musical and drove for half an hour to find a parking spot near the Stanley theatre. 

With each moment wasted trying to find a Parking spot rage boiled within me. The beard comment pissed me off last night and I woke up hating this man. But I thought I should be nice and give him the benefit of the doubt. 

Then I realized there was no bearded man outside the theatre waiting for me. I text his cell and he was still in bed sleeping.

...This is my real life.

Having a deaf dog is hilarious!

Having a deaf dog is hilarious! I walk over his sleeping body when I come home. Turn on the TV. And then stare closely at my dog's stomach for signs of breathing. After all,

he is 11, half blind, totally deaf, missing 7 teeth and stiff with arthritis. It's not totally insane for me to assume that my Lil dog is dead every time I come home. As I'm peering at my mutt, I lose my balance and ever so gently tap the old boy as I catch myself. He of course, fell fast asleep at the front door when I left the house and has no idea that I'm home, and he definitely isn't expecting me to be lurking just inches from his face. 

You can imagine how startled he was when he opened his eyes. 

How do you explain to a deaf dog that I only scared the shit out of him cause I care. 

Is she a tranny?

Rumors flew when a comment on http://youtu.be/GARvqq5fOdk got viewers very excited at the speculation that I'm a tranny. 

In an email today a "fan" pointed out that I don't show my vagina in my adult videos and I worked for QueerFM and am currently on A Gay Collab and re-broadcasting on Gay Life TV, therefore I MUST be a tranny! 

The little Internet sleuth was so proud of his or her deduction. I just let them believe whatever makes them happy.

And if I can pass as a tranny then that just blew my viewership wide open! 

Sadly though, if they do their research they'll find two of my so called adult videos that disprove their theory. 

But we won't tell them that ;)

I'd hate for my vagina to be a disappointment! 

I met one of your fans at the supermarket

"You manage the penthouse right?"

"Yes" my boss replied, as he tried to remember who this guy was.

"Hey you have a dj named Samantha Mack"

"Ya"

"Did you know she does porn?" Said the unknown man.

"We're standing in a line up at the grocery store and you're telling me that my sister does porn?"

The excited mans face quickly sunk with embarrassment.

My boss let him sweat for a moment then continued,

"Na I'm just messing with you!"

As my boss from the strip club where I DJ re-told this story the other staff members and I burst out laughing. With a cigar in his hand and razor sharp wit at his disposal he is a modern day Marx brother. 

Addicted2Samantha.com

I Hit A Man In His 60's

I hit a man tonight who must have been in his 60's

Fucking men... Where does this misplaced sense of entitlement come from?

I saw the dancer pointing at the camera and backing away during a lap dance so I poked my head in to make sure she was ok.
"Don't grab the dancer" I said, then he grabbed me.
Shocked, I slapped his hand and told him not to. But He continued. I kept swatting his hands away as he questioned who I was to be telling him what to do.
Granted I don't wear a staff shirt of name tag. I usually wear a low cut top and lulus. So perhaps I can assume he thought I was just a customer busting up his dance. So I told him I worked there and It was my job to watch him on camera.
Then he grabbed me and a series of mean statements poured out of his mouth.
I kick guys out for being disrespectful, without flinching.
I told him to leave and he grabbed my wrist. Instinctively I hit his face as hard as I could from such an awkward angle. It didn't stop him though. I need to learn to hit harder.

Thank god for bouncers.
All I had to say was, "This guy needs to go!"

Then I walked away and when I looked back he was gone. As we're the bouncers. ;)


If you can't be a gentleman
You don't deserve to be in a gentlemen's club.