"This is a message for Samantha Mack. We need you to come in and talk about you blood test results ASAP!"
I was in Seattle with Josh Rimer for the weekend for Vlogger Fair. I lived out one of my biggest dreams when I was on stage encouraging and supporting and motivating people to be Bold and fearless as they Vlog their stories. It was a dream come true to be welcome for my thoughts and not just for my boobs. Anyhow....
As soon as I was back in Canada I made an appointment to talk about my blood test results.
I've been tolerably sick since April 9th. I lost my voice and have trouble breathing. I easily get fevers and I'm drained of energy much more easily than ever before. I figured I was getting old and working up to 20 hours some days. I thought I was just run down.
Turns out I'm running low on white blood cells. At 5pm yesterday the dr set me up with appointments to see I I have leukemia.
At 6pm I had to drive out to walnut Grove for head shots with one of my favorite actors. By the way if you need head shots, photographer Jonny Ray is my secret weapon.
We headed back to my place to update the acting agency with the pertinent info and sign contracts. I was lost in the tiny details for hours and hours.
Then we were finished.... it hit me. As we were getting ready to pack up and leave I thought, "what the hell do I do now? Just wait till morning and somehow not worry about possibly having leukemia?!?! WTF!"
Late into the night without my saying a word, the actor I had been working with randomly piped up with inspirational thoughts and logical peaceful ways to deal with worry and stress. Somehow he knew exactly what to say at exactly the right times.
I finally fell asleep feeling such peace and love, totally ok with whatever the universe had next for me.
Such an incredible feeling!
And what made it even better was the fact that a dude was being so sweet to me without guile. If you've read my other blogs about dudes talking to me late into the night, it usually ends with me hating them for being horny and disrespectful.
This morning I was up and at the hospital at 9am for more blood work and tomorrow morning ill be back for x-rays. I also have the option of getting cancer gene testing at the cancer clinic. So I guess we'll just see what happens next.
One of the things we talked about late last night was living in the now. And now is perfect. I be a fool to ruin a perfect moment by worrying about something I have no control over.
"Everything is exactly how it should be"
Pic of me getting ready this past weekend for Vlogger Fair's TRON party.
Your friend is a good reminder to many people. That being in the now is all we can do. Going backwards doesn't serve any purpose, looking forward can only do so much. However, living in the now, we can do something about.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you nothing but healing and positive thoughts as you get through this trying time right now.
Motivational,
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