Meeting The Other Woman

Meeting the Other Woman:

My heart was pounding when I saw her. I expected her to hit me, or to hate me at the very least. Cause for so long I wanted to hit her, cause I was filled with so much hate. 

The universe put us in the same place at the same time... And I realized it was time I sucked It up and said "Hi!" 

Why now? We'll cause I'm not mad anymore. The universe must have known that, and I assume that's why her and I were placed face to face. 

So, With an overwhelming feeling of peace, that shocked even me, I asked, "are we ok?" 

And I am so grateful she said yes. 

Love More

Fear Less

The world would rather hug you than hurt you.

Paolo & Rosa: Wet Underwear & A Single Red Rose

Not only is this our best video to date but we had the most fun making it!!! Thanks for watching!

Naked on the Street and we DIDN'T get arrested

• This was a pretty good example of how people are in Vancouver. A surprising amount of people were lost in their own worlds and didn't even notice two naked people walking down the street. This was an incredible social experiment. Those who did notice us we're positive, supportive, and asked to take photos of us and thanked us for making them smile on such a cold day. We received countless compliments and we have never been called AWESOME so many times in one day. It was a50/50 split of people who were oblivious and people who were joy filled. Even the produce manager at the grocery store, the Starbucks employees, and the staff at the dish gave us a warm welcome and smiles for miles! Before walking into establishments we made bets on how long it would take to get kicked out for how we were dressed... We quickly discovered that (in the words of John Halcyon Styn) "The world would rather hug us than hurt us"
  We started our day with the intention of making a hilarious video for this Sunday's A Gay Collab and ended with happy hearts and a lesson from the universe that our world is far more accepting than we originally believed!
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Samantha & James: The Making of a Porn (FAIL)

After laughing over all the bloopers and insane things we do to pull of a sexy adult movie... we decided to make "the making of a porno" to share some of the silly, fumbling, mishaps that happen behind the scenes. After hours of planning, costumes, props, lighting, location, special FX, etc... we were ready to film this hilarious, entertaining and educational :P, mockumentary/how to/making of..... But something distracted us.

Follow us on twitter and instagram @thejameswire @thesamanthamack for more behind the scenes details and pics

http://www.youtube.com/v/Uy-B17TE7T4?version=3&autohide=1&autoplay=1&autohide=1&showinfo=1&feature=share&attribution_tag=n5m7JIrWy6cZByR1YyVrxQ

The sad thing is you are so much more than porn

That's a reflection I how you feel about what you think the porn industry is. 

When I was stripping after getting divorced and paying off my debt, getting my own apartment and such, people would always say, you're too good for this job. The truth is no one is too good for any job. We are all lucky to have work of any kind. And even luckier when we love our jobs. And I loved to dance. Stripping was awesome for me. I never became the drug addicted single mom that is scared of her biker boyfriend that everyone THINKS a stripper is. 

I fell in love with my body and found confidence for the first time in my life. It led me to fitness competitions and enabled me to finally fix my sad floppy stretched out boobs. (Pic on Instagram) 

because of my larger than life stripper personality I got to host the adult entertainment awards and dancers for cancer where we raised tens of thousands of dollars for breast cancer over the years. 

I was also was asked To perform and teach at seduction clinics where women from all walks of life wore heels (some for the very first time) learned pole moves and how to pose their body no matte what shape it was in the most attractive ways for the boudoir camera. Inspiring other women to love themselves and encouraging the freedoms to allow yourself to feel sexy. Teaching that sexy isn't a dress size, sexy is confidence. 

So Was I too good for the job? Nah, that job was a blessing and a launching pad to so much more. 

Don't look at a job that you think is beneath you and think its a means to an end. It's a means to a beginning. 

So, am I so much more than porn? Sure I'm all kinds if things. And just like stripping this too is a launching pad to the next phase of my life. Whatever that may be. So don't look down on an industry you don't understand and make assumptions that one persons value is greater or less than someone else. 

I am having the time of my life. My everyday life is filled with love and creativity. We received emails saying "I can't believe you do all that kinky stuff sober. That's inspiring." And "my boyfriend and I watch your videos and now he dresses up as a nerd and lets me take control too. Our sexy life is awesome." 

The ripple effect of our porn has proven to be a positive one. And that makes for a damn good job if you ask me. 

So no, the sad thing isn't that im so much more than porn. The great thing is that porn (or any job) will lead to so much more than who/what/where I am now. 

Knocked Up?

While chugging water so I could pee on a stick at the doctors office a million thoughts entered my head at once.

What if I'm pregnant? 

I would instinctually think that's awesome! Being a mom is my greatest wish. Having a kid would be a dream come true. 

What about the daddy?

He already has kids that he sees every other day. If I had a kid would he stick around in the role of Daddy? Would this baby take away time and money spent on his kids? Is this fair to him and his pre existing family?

What about money?

Would my boss keep me employed if I was knocked up? Who wants to see a pregnant chick DJn at a strip club? 

I primarily make porn for a living how the hell is that gonna work? 

What if I can't work? How else am I gonna make money?

I could handle having kids. Kids who go to school during the day so I can get my work done. But a baby? How the hell does one manage life with a baby arms length away at all times.

What if Daddy isn't around forever, can I do this on my own? 

Ill spare you the gory details but, it would take a miracle for me to get knocked up. However, on this day the doctor had reasons to be suspicious. 

I have daydreamed of being knocked up. I've wished on every falling star and each birthday candle I blew out these last few years. And in a moment where you think i'd still be crossing my fingers, all my hopes and dreams turned to fear.

What a terrible feeling. All the joy and excitement of the Miricle I've been waiting for ...crushed by the fears of reality. 

Now if James and I lived together and this was planned things would be different. But I just gave him his own set of keys 2days ago. So needless to say my being knocked up is not part of our plan. But if he was excited and thought we could become the perfect parenting team then be excited again too. But logically I don't see how we could make it work.

Right now, business is doing well and these next few years are crucial. A lot is riding on my looks. My body is my tool. I get a ton of joy knowing that my hard work (our hard work) benefits not only myself but James too, and with every extra cent he spoils his kids as much as he can. The more successful we are, the more free time he has to spend with his kids. Its a ripple effect. I may not have my own family but my hard work means his family can have more. When my paycheque is big, his percentage is big. The better I do, the better he does, and knowing that what He makes gets spent on his kids needs, makes me want to work that much harder. Those kids may never know "dads friend Sam" or how my life benefits them, but I know. And knowing the positive ripple effect I can create for them brings me so much happiness. 

I've wanted to have my own family for a long time but maybe that's not what's in the cards for me. For so long I thought that made me useless. My life wasted. Simply living day after day for the express purpose of getting older. I couldn't see what point my life had if I didn't have a family to share all these moments and holidays with. But maybe this ripple effect is the point to life I've been seeking. 

James' 1st Strip Tease

This week was Halloween week! But Halloween is over, so here's clips from our week leading up to James Wire's very FIRST STRIP TEASE on November 2nd 2013 at Funky WInkerbeans in Vancouver BC.
You can see Samantha (and James) every Sunday here on A Gay Collab. A Gay Collab is a daily youtube show with a different host every day of the week entertaining the masses with our fun, creative and sometimes spontaneous take on the weekly topics. All content is created by GLTBQ people and their allies. 
James Wire and Samantha Mack (although they only have slight gay tendencies) lead by example. Encouraging all straight people to stand up for our sexy brothers and sisters in their fight for continued equality. 

Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @theSamanthaMack and @theJamesWire 
Thanks for watching :P

Don't forget to like us on facebook: http://fb.agaycollab.com
And follow us on twitter: http://tweet.agaycollab.com

http://www.youtube.com/v/NnYC0LuG1rg?autohide=1&version=3&attribution_tag=ruQlmIePsSQHkBscO0oZxA&autohide=1&showinfo=1&feature=share&autoplay=1

Halloween is for kids.

I'm choking back tears as I drive to work at the strip club. My phone alerts going off with pictures of my friends, my age, not in slutty costumes but warm goofy ones, showing off their cute kids In the cute costumes they stayed up all night making or worked over time to buy. It's 7:30 and some of them are already carrying home their exhausted and/or sugar crashed little ones after just a tiny bit of trick-or-treating. 

Holidays were made for kids. Decorations, music, outfits... We do all this to provide te young ones with happy memories of togetherness. 

Right now I feel so lonely. No one to make a costume for, no one to provide a magical spooky holiday experience for. No trick or treaters bouncing with excitement at my door. There's really no reason for me to celebrate Halloween. It just another Thursday.

 

Tonight the life I have, and the life I want, are two very different things. 

I don't know when I suddenly grew up but apparently I'm an adult now and I feel like I'm missing out on all the best parts of being a grown up. 

Samantha & James: Sechelt Pier Adventure

We ran away to a little cabin in Robert's Creek to "get away from it all" for 4 days. We worked almost every waking hour that we were on "vacation" but we did manage to sneak in some us time while the cameras were re-charging and the computers were rendering and uploading. Here's a peek at what little time we did take just for ourselves.
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram for daily pics and updates on our crazy lives.
Thanks for watching
Samantha and James :P

This is CHRISTOPHER LEAF

Our short film about life as a gay man
http://youtu.be/4S8-uBzLDlc
This week on A GAY COLLAB we're talking about gay news in our area. I visited Roberts Creek BC and met a young gay man by the name of Christopher Leaf... This is his story.

Follow us on twitter and instagram @thesamanthamack and @thejameswire. and see more of us at youtube.com/therealsamanthamack

Don't forget to like us on facebook: http://fb.agaycollab.com
And follow us on twitter: http://tweet.agaycollab.com

Samantha & James: Jack O'Lantern LOVE

Photo Shoot - unedited

I had a photo shoot last night with Grant Mcavoy/Image Werx. Usually I just see the final best images once their touched up a week of so later. I always think.. That's a great photo but I don't really look like that. 

This time we simply downloaded the pictures directly from the camera to my laptop (which photographers usually don't do) and I got to see me.. Just me, as is, sans photo shop. 

And I was pretty delighted with what I saw. 

It's terrible how hard we can be on ourselves. The image I have of myself in my head and the images captured on film are so different. 

And I wonder why? 

I guess because there's so many pics of me photo shopped, or edited via Instagram or some other alteration made that I just got skeptical and stated to believe I was a mess and needed every image touched up. 

Sigh. I'm pretty hard on myself in my own mind. And after seeing the raw images from last nights shoot, I realized that the negativity I put myself thru has been unnecessary.

I'm ok. And I should probably start telling myself that. 

PORN with a side of Love

It's been almost 3 months since I dove into the world of adult films head first, holding James' hand all the way. I never would have had the courage to start this adventure if it wasn't for him. I should clarify that by telling you that I approached him with the idea of becoming porn stars. There's few times in life when you meet your match. That one person who alone is pretty amazing but together you create the unstoppable team. The kind of person who makes anything possible. James Wire and I are those people. We're totally different but somehow we fit together perfectly and fuel each others creative fire. It's been a Non stop adventure. Our goal is to make couple friendly, sex positive, adult films and show a connection, a love, between the two people on screen no matter how kinky or bizarre the scene. 

I've watched a LOT of porn and the "Any girl, any hole, any time" theme has been nagging on my soul. I've had boyfriends emulate what they see on screen and the loveless sex, I feel, doesn't need to be encouraged. Is it possible to make porn with a positive message? 

Absolutely!

Is there an audience that gives a damn?

Gawd I hope so! 

There's something for everyone and not everyone is going to like our films, but for the young people secretly downloading porn when their parents aren't looking... Well, I hope they 'accidentally' find our videos because at least the message (between extreme close ups and cumshots) is one of love and respect. 

We must have been lovers in a previous life because the chemistry is mind blowing. Each video gets more intense than the last, and you're lucky because we're not stopping anytime soon! 

 

After hosting and performing at the Taboo Sex Show, The Adult Entertainment Awards, The Virtual Adult Entertainment Awards sponsored by The Naked Truth and X-BIZ. James Wire walked into my world on June 26th and gave me the confidence to be on the receiving end of those awards... and I still can't find my pants! See us at the 2013 Hump Film Fest! 

Life

From birth to death 

It's just like this 

Ghost Bus?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Porno Ive Been Talking About

In late July my leading man and I filmed our first sex scene with Club Stiletto. I was so nervous, I actually left my makeup bag at home!! For those of you who know me, that's like walking out of the house without pants! I can only imagine how poor James felt as he prepared himself to fuck me in front of lights, cameras and people he's never met before. The scene was fun and our director put us at easy with his "bedside manner" ;) 

Here's what they have to say about the film.

THE SEDUCTION

Directed/Filmed/Produced by Club Stiletto

"We have never filmed a more spectacular scene with the amazing Goddess Samantha than this one. She really took us all by surprise with how far she went in seducing her neighbor James Wire. You see… James has been hit hard by the economic times. He has a wife and to feed and no job. He's decided to try and pick up some extra cash cutting grass. He arrived at Samantha's with his lawnmower hoping to make a few bucks mowing her lawn. She felt sorry for the geek and agreed to pay him $20 for his services. James was very grateful and he began mowing her lawn. 

Due to the heat…James took off his shirt and he started to sweat while pushing the mower. His muscles were glistening in the sun and Samantha was watching him through her living room window. She started getting really horny as he worked away in the sun with all of his muscles flexing due to the hard work. "And I thought he was a geek," remarked Samantha as she continued watching James with interest. She couldn't believe how hot he looked with his shirt off. 

When he was finished, he knocked on the door hoping to get paid. Samantha invited him inside and that's when the seduction begins. Using her sexy body, her fingers and her tongue, she starts seducing James with all her charms. James is resisting because he's married and doesn't want to cheat on his wife, but he doesn't stand a chance. Samantha licks his nipples and licks his chest and works her way down to his cock. YES!!! She undoes his pants… pulls them down and sucks his hard cock! James cannot believe it!! Samantha is totally breaking down his resistance and he is powerless to stop it. So much for never cheating on his wife. 

When Samantha sees he is putty in her hands, she stands up and teases him some more. This is more than James can stand. He's like a raging geek bull. He throws off his glasses and embraces her. His lips lock on to her lips and they fall back onto the futon where they have the wildest fuck fest you can imagine. His nice hard dick is pounding Samantha and she is moaning in pleasure. Her heaving chest looks magnificent as her full round breasts are busting out of her bra. 

James is now begging for release. He can't hold back and when Samantha thinks he deserves it… she allows him release. He shoots his nice, large load all over those spectacular breasts of hers. Talk about a hot, steamy, sexy scene. What happens next is a total surprise and we don't want to ruin the surprise so we'll close off by saying… "expect the unexpected." If there is only one video you can afford to buy this month… this is the one to get! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!"

It's available at www.clubstiletto.com and addicted2samantha.com

PORN FOR "WOMEN"

I keep saying I'm making porn for women and couples... and after reading a recent post from Adult Actor, James Deen, I think I need to describe it just a little better.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/30/james-deen-porn-for-women_n_3844224.html

What I'm striving to show is a connection between two people.
Be it in a passionate high production value shoot or in a dirty domination scene spontaneously shot guerrilla style in a night club bathroom.
Women and couples are in to all sorts of erotic content. What I want to change is the objectification of sex. Show that you are fucking a person... and a person who you care about wether you are making sweet romantic missionary style love... or tying them to a fence in the middle of nowhere leaving bite marks and bruises all over their body. It's that connection that is so important.

Addicted2Samantha.com

For me personally I want all my scenes to have a positive angle. I wont play a home wrecker or any character that makes my partner a cheating husband. I don't want that message out there. I get countless emails from men asking for discrete hook ups while they're away from their families on business and my response is "go home and love your wife!"

Addicted2Samantha.com

I want to encourage openness and communications between couples. Go ahead and explore the crazy kinky things you fantasize about. Sex is so very much about the person you're with, how you move and moan and how they respond. When you can read the other person and connect on a sexual level, especially a kinky level, the extreme joy and freedom is so overwhelming, the pleasure will play over and over again in  your mind for years. Giving up control, taking control, role reversal, trying new thing you never before dared to admit you even thought of... it all starts with a connection between two (or more) people.  Anyone can go through the motions but if you want great sex, you need to fuck each others minds as well as their bodies.

Addicted2Samantha.com

Addicted2Samantha.com

Addicted2Samantha.com

I turned 30?

http://youtu.be/XocZ8z2CaUM

message to me FROM THE FUTURE!!!

HOT CHICK IN A CROSSWALK!

Ding Dong in LA - How to Make Your Own Dildo

You could have been a doctor...

My "Brothers," the two guys I call family... proved that they aren't.
Family loves you no matter what. Family cares about your happiness first. Family is a safe place full of support and encouragement.... not judgment. Family doesn't treat you like you're disposable.

They knew I had an adult web site for years. A few weeks back I bumped into the older of the two and we chatted about my adult site. He was happy that I was happy. But apparently he was just drunk.

Tonight I went over to their place for a lil BBQ and got a 30 min lecture on how they think less of me now because I'm filming porn. I was called every name in the book- in a narrow minded, I  love you, I know better than you, sort of way.
It was hell.

They jumped to the conclusion that I'm filming degrading style of porn that they're used to watching late at night on free sharing sites. They suggested that I'm stupid enough to be led into this terrible decision by my leading man. Which couldn't be further from the truth! It's my business and I brought the contracts to him!

Anyways. They refused to read my blog or let me explain why making adult videos has me on cloud 9. This isn't the first time they've been unsupportive so 1/2 way though the lecture I started making my game plan to defend myself. Maybe they would understand if I explained my elaborate film making set up, scripts, lighting, continuity... or maybe if I explained how it's financially a wise business choice.. or maybe I could explain that my self confidence and self esteem is through the roof and I'm elated with this new frame of mind. and That "James" and I truly love each other, and neither one of us is using the other, but we talked long and hard about our goals and game plan.
NOPE shot down all all attempts. The idea of just getting up and walking out crossed my mind, but I wanted to be stronger than that. I'm not a weakling who cries and walks away  (even thought that was my knee jerk reaction) I held it together and tried to listen while he spoke till he was simply repeating himself to fill the silence in the room. Every time I tried to speak up for myself I could only get 2 or 3 words out before he would tell me how "gross" I am, and how little he thinks of me now. He even added that he would never give my a job based on this new found knowledge.
I could no longer focus on how to defend myself. I was shocked by how judgemental he was being. The younger bro didn't say much, he's the one who's thoughts I honestly would have cared more to hear.

Judgement, based on assumptions made after I said, "well, I am making porn."
No matter how hard I tried to explain how happy I was, no matter how hard I tried to explain that my team was amazing and supportive, and no matter how hard I tried to explain my vision to create female positive, sex positive films instead of the years of kink, fetish and jerk off videos I had made in the past that I'm quite embarrassed by.

And about that: All those older videos. The kinky, weird fetish ones that catered only to my so-called fans... I wish a good chunk of them didn't exist. Some I made just for the money and some I made cause I thought that's what was expected of me. Look up VORE. I did so many vore videos! and why?

I swear to Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ, that I'd rather suck the dick of the man I'm crazy about than eat another sandwich and slowly pretend to chew a helpless little man who's sacrificing his life to nourish my goddess body. Why? Because if cannibalism is your fantasy, I don't need to encourage it.
You know what men and women do all over the world? Suck dick.
You know what people don't do? Shrink men down to 3-4 inches and eat them slowly starting at their toes and laughing as they chew with their mouth open so what's left of the little man can watch himself being destroyed between my teeth.

I love people for who they are at their core not what they do. ...and maybe because I'm younger than them I see the world as a place that would rather hug me than hurt me. But I know that someone better smack me in the face the day I kick someone out of my life because what I assume they do for a living isn't good enough for me to go bragging to my mom about.

Anyways, sad and angry, a little shocked and totally heartbroken... I got up put on my jacket and left. They didn't even say goodbye.

I guess it's over. I guess what they think I do is far more important than who I am. I thought they knew me, knew my heart. But in reality they care more about being about to brag about me to other people ...and now all they feel is shame at the mention of my name.

"you could have been a doctor" he said.

Positive Message: Half Naked and Cum Soaked

Today I was busy filming porn...

We started a very sexy scene where I seduced the neighbour who was mowing my lawn. We wrote in a bit about him resisting me because he had a wife and kids - just incase he couldn't get hard, we would have a story to run with. 

But the goal was for him to use that ding dong as god intended ;)

After a quick moment of my handy work he was ready to go. We filmed a steamy passionate sex scene and then I had an idea.

The entire time I was feeling bad about playing the role of "home wrecker" so...

After some post cum-shot making out, he looked deep into my eyes and said,

"I love role playing with you. This is the best one you've come up with yet!"

I giggled and told him to hurry up and pick up our kids from school. And as he got up and grabbed his pants I added,

"And finish mowing the lawn!"

Turning the scene from a man cheating on his wife with the seductress next door, to a scene where a loving couple role plays while the kids are at school, turned my film from smut, to a woman empowering, sexually empowering film that I hope would allow couples who watch it to explore and enjoy each others fantasies.

I've made so many adult flicks for money. And so many of those films I'm not 100% ok with. Small Penis Humiliation, Vore, Financial Domination, Giantess, Cruel Riding... I'm not into it. 

I didn't realize how much it picked at my soul to get paid to be mean to people, even if it was just acting. Playing out these fantasies for customers slowly numbed me.

And I started to resent the money it made. 

Then I filmed "James Wire" and I having fake sex... it was believable enough on camera... Especially when we both were so turned on that it accidentally turned into real sex ;) 

From that moment forward we decided to be porn stars. With the goal to make videos that are woman friendly, empowering, sexy and fun. 

The Internet is laden with women being pounded in ever hole, women being spit on, jizzed on and then left. It's this style of sex without love that was slowly eating my soul. I wanted to make something positive, passionate, exciting and loving.

With that goal in mind "James" and I re-invented addicted2samantha.com

The first time we made love on the beach the couple a little ways down the beach started going at it too!! I was overjoyed!!! It worked!! My actions were encouraging love between others!! 

So today when we changed the ending of the video to show a bond between the couple, I was simply delighted. And I think I stumbled onto what will be a series of role play videos. :)

I am very aware of my audience and I feel compelled to give them a positive message. Today I did just that - half naked and cum soaked - but I did it! 

I don't smear fake cum on just anyone's chest

I have the most amazing people in my life. 

I have come to recognize the quality of people who are closest to me.

I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many truly wonderful people.

Payton who drops everything when I call him after being spooked by a man randomly trying to get into my truck. Fixes my flat tires and does all the heroic manly stuff a girl could dream of without hesitation.

Corrie who helps me make pianos and life size jack n the boxes for my crazy performances without even questioning my sanity. She listens to my hair brained ideas and helps me make them work instead of pointing out how crazy they really are.

Josh who encourages my crazy ideas, films my crazy ideas, regardless how cold the water is or how naked people need to be... and he gives me perfect advice at exactly the right times.

Tracey who really will do anything for a friend. So loving In fact, that when I'm really sick I have to beg her to stay away and let me cough, sniffle and be gross alone. 

Paul who wandered into my life and changed everything. He taught me to appreciate what I do have and embrace living in the now. Although acting brought us together he taught me what it is to be real. 

I could go on and on and I'm sure I will in future blogs... I am surrounded by support, love and encouragement. And I'm so lucky!

Sex on the Beach

We were making out in the sunset as the sun pained the sky to frame our bodies.

A couple about 70m away watched from their beach blanket as our naked bodies wrapped  around each other. 

Time stood still. I can't tell if we were there for mins or hours. But it didn't matter. Every breath, every heartbeat, every movement was so incredible... Nothing else mattered.

All we could hear was the crashing waves as they teased the shoreline. Soon we too were a part of that shoreline.

Oblivious to the world around us, we couldn't resist. It was all so beautiful. The sun, the sky, the ocean, the soft sand beneath us... It wasn't till we saw the photos that we noticed people walking by. It felt so private, so perfect. It was the type of moment musicians write songs about, the type of moment that film makers strive to capture in their scripts. Pure passion simply took over.

And as we collapsed side by side in the sand I glanced at the couple I had noticed earlier on their beach blanket in the distance. The woman was straddled on top of her man. And now it was their moment. I felt such bliss as I snuck a peek at their bodies moving in slow motion. Did our behaviour encourage them to feel free to express their love? I like to think it did. And it was beautiful.

We walked back to our beach blanket, started to dry off and get dressed. 

Then the park rangers came. They busted the couple making love. Their sour expression was the proverbial rain on our parade. Then they walked up to us. Furled by the complaint they had received that "someone" was filming porn on the beach... And I got off with a warning ticket. Violating bylaw 1177 section 3.1 

That ticket is stuck to my fridge with a magnet that coincidentally says ,"if I can't do it naked, it isn't worth doing!" 

And the footage is on my laptop. ;) I watch it from time to time. I can still feel the ocean licking at my toes as he kisses my neck...

Filming Horror Porn

The comedy, "Horor Porn" (Music Video) was inspired by the most common search words for the horror movie "No Pets Allowed" wich featuredPuh Puh Paul and Samantha Mack (Blue Girl Productions Nadine L'Esperance) Its my take on what the person googling "horror porn" was experiencing. Not only does it makes fun of the person googling but it aslo makes fun of my reality as an entertainer who people seek on the internet. The ending of this video is hands down my favorite! Making fun of my real life.... that's what I do!

It's planning on being out on youtube and iTunes just in time for my trip to VidCon in California. 

3 of our 4 make up artists were also actors in this film. I just gave them a basic concept and they went above and beyond bringing their A-game!!! When I walked back in from filming a scene they were dressed beyond my wildest dreams!! I am so blessed to have a team of creative, inspired people who have bent over backwards for me!

My actors were amazing and put up with my suddenly very quiet and very serious style of directing. We had to be sneaky so the neighbours wouldn't complain. :)

Josh Rimer and Ryan Steele jumped in last min when two of the original actors suddenly couldn't be there. 

I am humbled by the quality of my friends. Their generous spirits is what made this music video possible!!! I am so blessed, and as I grow old I will re watch this video and be laden with joy. This experience taught me that paradise isn't a specific destination. Paradise is a feeling. And the process of filming "Horror Porn" captured my paradise. 

Thank You

Corrie, Josh, Paul, Lanny, Deb, Kelly, Keir, Ryan, Dan, Nadine, Riley, Erron... Thank You!!!

Porn?

I had never been filmed having sex.  But, I do have an adult web site full of videos that are more than suggestive. I always thought if I didn't show my pink bits or touch dick I wasn't really making porn. But what is porn? Is it dick in vag action that makes it porn? Or if its purpose is to supply an orgasm to the viewer, does that make it porn? What makes erotica different? Is it?

Was I ever really innocent? Tits like these alone, could cause a weak man to blow his load.

What I've learned is:

People who aren't ok with their own sexuality don't care if you're a stripper, a porn star or a hippy on a nude beach... It's all terrible in their eyes. They hate it all, cause they themselves aren't comfortable.

So I'm already doomed. 

But wait a second... Why do I give a damn what some prude, judgemental people think?!?! 

What I really desperately want is for people to know my heart, know that I'm a good person with a soul and emotions, a family and responsibilities.

I'm just like everyone else. I'm not a sex crazed, bimbo (like many assume) I'm not a man hating dominatrix or a party girl who will drink you under the table then fuck you on top of it. I'm just a girl trying to figure out this thing called life, just like everyone else.

I believe in woman empowerment and sexual confidence. I believe in being open minded and living in the now. 

I've written blogs before encouraging couples to make their own porn films, to celebrate each other and have fun with each other. But, although I do think its great advice... I've never been able to do it. Honestly, I've always wanted to... but I never felt pretty enough. Never felt like I was good enough. So afraid that people would judge me and label me as a bad person. Also, the dudes I've dated have been less than stellar, and I can't honestly say I would trust any of them to be respectful with bedroom photos of us.

I've filmed adult content and erotica for a long time but I've always been careful to keep a boundary between myself and anyone else in the film. (IF there is anyone else in the film)

BUT then things changed. I met an actor who respected me. He wasn't smutty or horny. A few weeks back when I was being tested for leukemia he stayed with me. Didn't try to get fresh. He genuinely cared about my well being. I trusted him. We started filming a romantic scene for a music video having never kissed before... It was beautiful. Our chemistry, our natural symmetrical movements.. It looked so amazing. Watching the footage an especially the outtakes where we giggled in each others arms.. It felt amazing. I guess the diference is that we actually care about each other. And that's I was seeing. Not fake, porn star style, "Ohh, baby, ya, that's how I like it." bullshit. No fake "O" faces. We talked a lot about it and decided to transfer that romantic scene to my adult site. We were filming more the very next day, but this time specifically for my adult site. This was huge! I didn't expect to ever film with a man. I guess I never expected to trust a man either. 

But Without trying all the pieces fell together perfectly. Even after our first kiss, kids outside started lighting off fireworks. 

Coincidence? Sure. 

A sign? Maybe. 

Amazing? Absolutely! 

And then it happened. Every kiss, every movement every gasp for breath became real. I wouldn't even call it porn, (if you weren't jerking off to it). 

It's hot, steamy. It's passion and love. Artists spend their whole live trying to capture what I'm getting on film on a canvas.

I'm so happy filming it too. I'm getting into the lighting, the shot angles... And so is he! I feel so artistic. So creative!

I finally feel free. I gave up trying to please everyone else and finally made porn for me. Cause "I" wanted to.

It reminds me of getting my half sleeve tattoo. I finally gave up trying to be good enough for everyone else and tattooed my arm because it made ME happy.

So oddly enough, over night i became the star of my own porn videos and I've never been happier. My self confidence is thought the roof. I feel beautiful, appreciated and respected.
and like I said, I've never been happier.

Image from 

"PS: Your Dream Girl is Waiting"

Just Grind - Official Music Video - by Samantha Mack & Erron Sweeney

Just Grind:

is an entire song about a girl taking control and getting lost in the moment with her love interest... Until you hear the bridge when it's a dudes point of view. Two very different views on this romantic moment and only one can come out on top. The video starts with a demanding bar owner and somewhere in the middle girls toss their panties on stage while the men offer flowers and room keys. An angry wife, a sock on a door knob... Is it possible for anyone to live happily ever after? 

Written and Produced by the Samantha Mack and Erron Sweeney

Video Features some of Vancouver's finest!!!

Ryan Percy, Paul Tryl, Aloma Steele, Winnie Chan, Spencer Densmore, Mistress T, Scarlet Moore, Josh Rimer, Andrew Lacelle Dis, Andrea Nancy, Erron Sweeney and Samantha Mack With Special behind the scenes THANKS to Nadine Lesperance, Payton Perkins and Gwyn Roberts.

Mmmmm ya, you feel that?!?

Tonight at work one of my friends was hanging out in the DJ booth talking about a girl scrap she got into on the weekend. I can't even remember what it was about. It's not the first story about her trying to finish off an argument in the proverbial "outside." 

I gave her my wisdom between announcing strippers on the mic.

"Girl, love more, hit less. Here, hold my hand. You feel that? That's love. Mmmmm feels good!"

Now I was being kinda silly about it but the message was true. What she said next stopped me in my silly tracks.

"I forgot what that feels like" she said as she held my hand with both of hers. 

Silence

I got up and hugged her like I've never hugged anyone before. Wishing that somehow my excess love and peacefulness would be hers for the taking. 

Painting a Piano & My Boobs

Of course I painted the top of my baby grand piano then reached across it dragging my tits through the wet paint. And of course I didn't notice for about two hours after walking my dog around the block and wondering why people were staring so much more than normal.

#thisismyreallife

Why am I painting a piano? 

For a music video obviously! 

I've been writing songs with Erron Sweeney and in prep for my trip to LA to vlog with the super stars, I'm padding my YouTube channel with funny and fierce videos that display my randomly insane creativity.

Screen shot of Erron and videographer Nate Butcher, from our first music video that we had to complete in under 3 hours.

So 3 new videos will be out before August when I'm shaking babies and kissing hands at VidCon ;)

Vote 4 Me: 

is about how competitions these days have nothing to do with skill and everything to do with online popularity. It will feature a beauty pageant in a bar full of sleazy dudes... And I can't promise that everyone wearing a skirt in the pageant is a girl ;) The contestants have unique "talents" and they don't play fair. The judges are slimy.. Will they choose the prettiest girl or the one who knows "what it takes" to get to the top?

PS: ShayCarl is in this video too ;)

Just Grind: 

is an entire song about a girl taking control and getting lost in the moment with her love interest... Until you hear the bridge when it's the dudes point of view. Two very different views on this romantic moment and only one can come out on top.

The video starts with a demanding bar owner and somewhere in the middle girls toss the panties on stage while the men offer their room keys. An angry wife, a sock on a door knob... Is it possible for anyone to live happily ever after? 

Horror Porn: 

I was just in a Horror Movie called "No Pets Allowed" (Blue Girl Productions)

when I found out that people were googling "Horror" and "Porn" to find Info for this movie, I blurted out, "I'm gonna make a song called horror porn" ...and then I did. :)

The video is more of a comedy than the title would let you believe. The poor wanker gets exactly what he googled for... And the girl in her lingerie, wandering out into the woods in the middle if the night to see where the creepy chainsaw sound is coming from... well unlike you're average horror films her screams aren't caused by terror. She's not afraid of zombies - she likes her men stiff! 

My bros (TheGrangerBros.com) always say, you make a movie 3x once in the script, once while filming, and again while editing... I really hope these turn out the way I imagined them. Filming 3 totally different videos in 3 weeks is absolutely insane. And I can't wait! 

Luckily I have an incredibly talented team behind me and a ton of amazing friends willing to volunteer their time and their skills. 

Do I have cancer?

It's been 5 LONG nights since the dr rushed me in for tests to see if I have leukemia. I'm sitting in the office agin now waiting for my text results.

My heart is pounding like I'm on a roller coaster...

I've kept busy all week and refused to think too much about it. I've been focused on enjoying what IS going on in my life not the "what ifs" 

One thing I've noticed by blogging about this experience is that there is a TON of people in this world that wish me well. People I hardly know are sendin me their love through messages and comments, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, vine. 

It reminds me of the quote from hug nation.com 

"THE WORLD WOULD RATHER HUG YOU THAN HURT YOU"

My world and my Internet world have have been hugging the heck outta me!

Fingers crossed! 

***UPDATE***

My white blood cell count is back up. My immune system is working again and they said leukemia is HIGHLY unlikely.

However they did see something in my X-rays so now I'm waiting on a CT scan to determine the next move. 

I am so relieved. And so thankful for being surrounded by so many loving supportive friends (and Internet friends who I have yet to meet) the world really is full of amazing people!

This whole experience has given me an attitude of gratitude! 

Thank You

Fan Mail!

Hi

I am a fan obviously. Have been for quite some time. I enjoy how diverse and creative you are and your humor is infectious. I've never reached out like this to anyone even remotely famous do to the fact that most people of your caliber are close minded but you don't seem like that at all. You interact with your fans. You share your real life with people you don't even know with out worrying about the prejudice or the slander that can come with that. I applaud your fearlessness and I simply wanted to say hello to allow you to become familiar with at least one fan who absolutely enjoys your openness.

Thanks,
Smitty

This made my day Smitty! First you called me remotely famous!!! (Yes!!! I've finally made it!! My ego thanks you!!)

The end.

Just kidding. ;)

What I loved about Vlogger Fair last weekend is that it gave me an opportunity to open my mouth! 

So many people were staring - to the point where even Josh Rimer was feeling awkward being seen with me. People were pointing their cameras at me and looking away like I wouldn't notice. Ugh :(

But I took the opportunity to talk to people. I just Walked up to the awkwardly placed cameras and said

 "HI IM SAM"

The people busted "secretly" aiming their cameras at me ended up chatting the night away with me!

And in the end, those people were awesome!!!! Way cooler than I originally expected ;) (and I hope they'd say the same about me)

In general they don't know how funny they look when they try to sneak pics. I never say no to pictures. I know that my boobs are considered a novelty item to most people. And i know I'm easily recognizable. So just take a deep breath an ask for a photo. I promise I won't bite. (That's costs extra) ;)

I share my real life online cause... Well, why the hell not! I'm NOT so special that the daily crazy events I experience are only happening to me. If we share our stories and speak up, maybe just maybe, other people who are having similar experiences won't feel alone. 

The world is small and we're all in this together. I welcome our similarities. 

Everyone has a story and I bet yours is amazing!

If we stop judging each other and just say Hi we'll find out that the world is a much friendlier place than we expected. 

And... How can you learn from my mistakes if I never tell you about them ;)